Up, Down and Middle: How will 3 leer-worthy 'tons' fare in 2013?
If you don't watch starchy public TV soaps, follow gossip blogs or read glossy men's or sports magazines, 2012 may have left you confused. Who keeps leaving the second "w" out of "Downtown," and since when is there a British abbey there? Is the Kate who stays in the bikini (barely) different from or the same as the one who doesn't (occasionally)? Which "ton" is a true royal (careful now; trick question) and which one is gilt merely by association? Why does not knowing the answers to these questions make us feel so clueless, while knowing them makes us feel like stalkers? Are we now done with all three "tons" — Up, Down and Middle? Or will we still have to shoulder the burden in 2013?— Robert Greene
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Kate Upton
The Sports Illustrated swimsuit model bounced onto the scene in 2011, not just in print but in the video dance world, when she gave a much-viewed seated performance of "The Dougie." She followed up in 2012 as the magazine's swimsuit cover model and her video bikini rendition of "Cat Daddy," seen above with Terry Richardson. Something about the long blond locks and long legs seemed strangely familiar — as if she were the same robotic model trotted out annually by pop culture for eons. Yet something else — the unblushing attitude, perhaps — made this self-aware, post-feminist phenomenon something different. At least until the next version shows up.
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