How to handle conflicting medical advice when doctors disagree

(Aging Untold) — When your doctors are not on the same page about your care, it can be confusing and stressful and leave you feeling stuck in the middle of conflicting recommendations.

If this happens to you, Dr. Rhea Rogers, a board-certified physician, urges having an honest conversation with your physician.

Understand the ‘why’ behind each recommendation

“The physician needs to outline not only what they’re saying, but why. There tends to be a why and a reasoning on what they’re thinking,” Rogers said.

Modern healthcare is a partnership, she said.

“Do not accept somebody just telling you something. They need to tell you why, and there has to be a thought process with it,” Rogers said.

When faced with conflicting medical opinions, patients need more than just instructions.

Rogers advised writing down questions before your appointments and bringing someone else with you to have another set of ears.

“Sometimes you may have to have a repeat visit because you need to think about the things that you are being told so that you could research those and then come back,” Rogers said.

When a primary care doctor and specialist disagree, the patient must decide which physician should take priority.

“If the cardiologist is telling me this and the primary care is telling me this, who do you listen to at that point?” Sam Cradduck, a gerontologist, asked.

“If think, if it’s my heart, I’m probably going to listen to my cardiologist,” Rogers said. “Don’t refer to a specialist and then you’re not going to listen to what they say. They are the specialist, so you have to give them some credit because that’s all that they’re studying on.”

Ask how treatment will change your outcome

Beyond understanding the reasoning, patients should ask specific questions about impact.

“They need to tell you if I do this, how is that going to change my outcome or my treatment, or is it not going to?” Rogers said. “So we have to know exactly, why are we doing what we’re doing?”

Request that your doctors communicate directly

Rogers noted that physicians regularly communicate about patient care.

“You have a primary care doctor and they may send you to a specialist. That specialist is a referral. That referral will send back to that doctor, letting them know what they are finding. And you can also have the doctors talk,” Rogers said.

Katherine Ambrose, an aging-well coach, added that patients can slow down the decision-making process.

“You could always slow things down for yourself or when you’re advocating and say, ‘We’re really confused because we’re hearing this and we’re hearing this from these different sources. Can you confer and decide?’” Ambrose said.

Consider a third opinion

When two respected physicians remain at odds, Rogers said a third opinion is an option.

“Put the plan in place, listen to what’s going on, ask your questions and always ask your doctors to talk to each other. We do it all the time,” Rogers said.

Three key takeaways

1. Ask the “why” behind every medical recommendation and view healthcare as a partnership
2. Bring someone to appointments for a second set of ears and prepare written questions
3. Ask doctors to communicate directly with each other about your care

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